Disclaimer: The following article is a guest post written by someone who has chosen to share their personal experience with alcohol addiction and recovery. "Sam" is a pseudonym used to protect the writer’s identity. The thoughts and experiences expressed are their own, and this post is intended to offer insight and encouragement to those struggling with alcoholism.
The Battle Between Wanting to Quit and Not Being Able To
For years, I told myself I would stop drinking. I knew it was ruining my life, hurting my relationships, and making me someone I didn’t recognize. But every time I tried to quit, I found myself reaching for another drink. I didn’t understand why. I hated what alcohol was doing to me, yet I couldn’t stop. If you’re reading this, maybe you know that feeling too. Maybe you’ve searched for NY AA meetings, hoping for a way out. I’ve been there.
The Lies I Told Myself to Keep Drinking
I had a whole list of reasons why my drinking wasn’t that bad.
- I’ll quit after this weekend. That weekend turned into next weekend. Then the next.
- I don’t have a real problem. Other people were worse off, so I convinced myself I was fine.
- Alcohol helps me cope. I told myself drinking was the only way I could handle stress, anxiety, or loneliness.
The truth? I was lying to myself because facing reality was terrifying. Quitting meant I had to deal with emotions I had buried under years of drinking.
The Breaking Point: When I Knew I Needed Help
One night, after another blackout, I woke up feeling worse than I ever had. I didn’t remember what I said or did, and I was too ashamed to ask. I looked around my empty apartment, realizing I had pushed everyone away. That was my breaking point. I had spent years pretending I had control when, in reality, alcohol controlled me. I searched for AA meetings near me and found one nearby. I had no idea what to expect, but I knew I couldn’t keep living like this.
Finding AA: My First Step Toward Real Change
Walking into my first meeting was scary. I was convinced people would judge me. Instead, I found something I never expected—understanding. Nobody looked at me like I was broken. They knew what I was going through because they had been there too. Hearing their stories made me realize I wasn’t alone.
I also learned about tools that could help me stay sober. Someone suggested using a sobriety calculator to track my progress, and for the first time in years, I felt a small sense of hope.
What AA Taught Me About Why I Couldn’t Stop
Before AA, I thought quitting was just about willpower. If I wanted it badly enough, I should be able to stop. But addiction doesn’t work that way. I learned that alcoholism is a disease and that real recovery takes work.
The 12 steps of AA helped me start that work. They forced me to take an honest look at myself and face the damage my drinking had caused. It wasn’t easy, but with the support of the group, I finally felt like I had a real chance at getting better.
Where I Am Now: Hope for Anyone Still Struggling
Sobriety hasn’t been perfect. Some days are hard. But the difference now is that I have tools to handle those moments. I have a support system. I no longer wake up filled with regret, trying to piece together the night before.
Recovery gave me my life back. I’ve rebuilt relationships, found new passions, and even started therapy (I looked up therapists near me and finally got the help I needed). I also spent some time in a halfway house, which provided structure in my early days of sobriety.
If you’re struggling, I want you to know that you don’t have to do this alone. There are people who understand, and there are places where you can get help. Search for NY AA meetings or AA meetings near me and take that first step. It won’t be easy, but I promise it’s worth it.
A Message from AA-Meetings.com
If you or someone you love is struggling with alcohol addiction, help is available. NY AA meetings and other local AA groups offer a judgment-free space for support and recovery. Visit AA-meetings.com to find a meeting near you and start your journey toward sobriety today. You’re not alone.