Find NY AA Meetings: Do AA Sponsors Control You?

When people first hear about Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), they often come across the idea of sponsorship. Some worry that getting a sponsor means losing control over their own recovery. It’s a common myth that AA sponsors dictate every decision or act like authority figures. But is that true? If you’re exploring recovery options and want to find NY AA meetings, it’s important to understand what sponsorship really means and how it can support your journey.

Read more: How Honesty Can Make a Difference in AA Meetings Portland

What Is an AA Sponsor?

An AA sponsor is someone who has been through the 12 steps of AA and helps guide newcomers in their recovery. They provide support, share personal experiences, and help others navigate challenges. A sponsor is not a therapist, doctor, or life coach. They are simply someone who has been where you are and wants to help.

Sponsorship is a personal choice. No one is assigned a sponsor, and you are free to choose someone you feel comfortable with. Likewise, if a sponsorship relationship isn’t working, you can change sponsors at any time.

The Myth: Do AA Sponsors Control Your Life?

Many people hesitate to get a sponsor because they fear losing control. There’s a misconception that sponsors make all your decisions, tell you how to live, and expect complete obedience. Some even compare AA to a strict system where members must follow orders.

The truth is, sponsorship is not about control. It’s about support. A sponsor might make suggestions based on their experience, but they cannot force anyone to do anything. Every decision in recovery, whether it’s attending a meeting, working the steps, or choosing to live in a halfway house, is ultimately up to the individual.

How AA Sponsorship Really Works

The goal of sponsorship is to help members stay sober by offering guidance and encouragement. Sponsors help people understand and work through the 12 steps of AA, but they do not dictate how fast or slow someone should go. They offer advice, not orders.

A good sponsor will:

• Listen without judgment
• Share their own experiences with alcohol addiction
• Encourage accountability without pressure
• Offer guidance on staying sober

A sponsor will not:

• Tell you how to live your life
• Demand that you follow their advice
• Act as a substitute for professional help, like a doctor or therapist

If you are struggling with other aspects of recovery, such as mental health or emotional challenges, it may be helpful to look for “therapists near me” in addition to working with a sponsor.

What If a Sponsor Becomes Overbearing?

While most sponsors respect boundaries, there may be situations where a sponsor is overly demanding or controlling. If that happens, remember that AA is a program of personal choice. You are free to end a sponsorship relationship at any time and find NY AA meetings where you can connect with others who may be a better fit.

If your sponsor is making you uncomfortable, consider:

• Talking to them honestly about your concerns
• Seeking advice from other AA members
• Finding a new sponsor who better aligns with your needs

AA is not about control. It is about finding support from people who understand what you’re going through.

The Benefits of Having a Sponsor

Having a sponsor in AA can be incredibly helpful. They provide encouragement during difficult times, celebrate victories with you, and remind you that you are not alone. Many people find that sponsorship makes it easier to stay accountable and committed to their sobriety.

If you’re using a sobriety calculator to track your progress, a sponsor can help you stay focused on your goals. They can also introduce you to different recovery tools and guide you through the program at your own pace.

The best way to experience the benefits of sponsorship is to find NY AA meetings and connect with people who have been through the process.

Conclusion

The idea that AA sponsors control people’s lives is a myth. A sponsor’s role is to offer guidance, not to make decisions for you. Recovery is a personal journey, and sponsorship is just one of many tools that can help.

If you’re ready to take the next step, start by searching for “AA meetings near me” or “AA near me.” Finding the right support system can make a huge difference in your recovery.