The Weight of Guilt and Shame
I remember the first time I walked into AA meetings in Charlotte North Carolina. My hands were shaking, my stomach was in knots, and I wasn’t sure I belonged there. I carried so much guilt from the things I had done while drinking, broken promises, lost friendships, and moments I wished I could erase. I thought if I could just stay sober long enough, the shame would fade. But it didn’t. I didn’t know how to forgive myself, and that made every day feel like I was dragging a heavy weight behind me.
Admitting And Finding Guidance From AA Meetings
The first step in the 12 steps of AA was admitting I was powerless over alcohol. That was terrifying because I had spent years convincing myself I was in control. Sitting in those meetings, I started hearing people talk about their own regrets, their own mistakes. For the first time, I didn’t feel like I was the only one drowning in shame. The connection with others who understood me made me realize I wasn’t as broken as I thought. If they could find a way to move forward, maybe I could too.
Facing My Past and Making Amends
The hardest part of my journey was making amends. It wasn’t just about saying sorry, it was about taking responsibility for my actions and showing through my behavior that I had changed. Some people forgave me, some didn’t, and some I couldn’t reach. The hardest part was realizing that I had to forgive myself, even if they didn’t. I had to learn that making amends didn’t mean I was erasing the past, but I was choosing to learn from it instead of letting it define me. Along the way, tools like a sobriety calculator helped me track my progress, reminding me how far I had come.
Learning That Perfection Was Never the Goal
After a while, I thought I had everything figured out. I was sober, I was doing the work, and I was rebuilding my life. But every time I made a mistake, losing my temper, missing a meeting, feeling resentment, I would start to spiral. I thought I had to be perfect to make up for my past. AA meetings in Charlotte North Carolina taught me a different way of thinking. They reminded me that progress, not perfection, was what mattered. Forgiving myself wasn’t something I would do once and be done with. It was a daily practice.
Letting Go and Changing with AA Groups
One of the biggest shifts in my life came when I started to believe I was worthy of grace. I had spent so much time punishing myself for the past that I didn’t realize I was allowed to move forward. Through AA meetings in Charlotte, North Carolina, and searching for “AA meetings near me”, I found my own way of understanding a higher power. It wasn’t about religion for me, it was about realizing I didn’t have to carry everything alone. Slowly, I started to let go of the idea that I was beyond redemption.
Choosing Forgiveness With the Help of AA
Self-forgiveness didn’t happen overnight. It came in small moments, choosing to be kind to myself when I messed up, accepting compliments without deflecting, and allowing myself to be happy without guilt. I moved into a halfway house where I met others trying to rebuild their lives. We weren’t perfect, but we were trying, and that mattered.
A Message to Anyone Who Feels Stuck
If you’re reading this and feeling like you’ll never be able to forgive yourself, I want you to know that I understand. I was there. But if I can learn to let go of the past, so can you. You don’t have to do it alone. There are AA meetings in Charlotte North Carolina, support groups, “therapists near me”, and resources that can help. If you’re not sure where to start, use our directory to find a meeting or a resource near you. You are worthy of forgiveness, and you don’t have to wait another day to start believing it.