STEP 6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
How It Works
We have emphasized willingness as
being indispensable. Are we now ready to let God remove
from us all the things which we have admitted are
objectionable? Can He now take them all, everyone? If we
still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God
to help us be willing.
-A.A. Big Book p.76
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So Step Six -
"Were entirely ready to have God remove all these
defects of character" - is A.A.'s way of stating the
best possible attitude one can take in order to make a
beginning on this lifetime job. This does not mean that
we expect all our character defects to be lifted out of
us as the drive to drink was. A few of them may be, but
with most of them we shall have to be content with
patient improvement. The words "entirely ready"
underline the fact that we want to aim at the very best
we know or can learn.
- Twelve Steps and Twelve
Traditions, p. 65
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When we tried to clean ourselves
up with our own power and "discipline" we kept ourselves
agitated, confused, in denial, and worn out, and we were
in almost constant emotional pain. We were like the man
who tore the scab off his arm every morning to see if
his wound had healed.
But it was in doing the sixth Step
that I saw why I had become so exhausted. I'd been
trying to do God's part in the spiritual growth and
healing process. In the program I was told that my part
was "being entirely ready", being ready to let God be
the controller and life-changer of myself and others.
When I did that, my sponsor said, I would see how God's
power is released to flow through our lives to clean
them only when we quit trying to control the how and
when he is to use that power...At first this sounded
like a call to complacency - until I got into Step
Seven. This attitude of readiness to let God reach into
our lives and uncover and remove the things that make us
spiritually and emotionally sick is paradoxically the
doorway to active and effective change of specific
lifelong habits and sins. But it means turning loose of
our control-even of our healing.
- A Hunger for Healing, p. 112-113
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When we are working Step Six, it
is important to remember that we are human and should
not place unrealistic expectations on ourselves. This is
a step of willingness. That is the spiritual principle
of Step Six. It is as if to say that we are now willing
to move in a spiritual direction. Being human we will,
of course, wander.
Rebellion is a character defect
that spoils us here. We need not lose faith when we
become rebellious. The indifference or intolerance that
rebellion can bring out in us has to be overcome by
persistent effort. We keep asking for willingness. We
may be doubtful still that God will see fit to relieve
us or that something will go wrong. We ask another
member who says, "You're right where you're supposed to
be". We renew our readiness to have our defects removed.
We surrender to the simple suggestions that the Program
offers us. Even though we are not entirely ready, we are
headed in that direction.
- Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text,
Chapter 4/Step 6
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We must be specific in our
identification of individual defects of character, and
we must be specific about the changes required to
recover from them. One cure does not fit all! The
approach for addressing one addiction may not work at
all for another. For instance, the rageaholic may need
to reduce anger expression. Conversely, the anger phobic
person, who has no permission to feel or experience
anger, may need to mobilize anger expression and
assertiveness. The treatment has to be very specifically
tailored to the defect and to the person.
As a rule, most defects of
character involve some imbalance in the expression of
and the experience of our most basic human needs. For
example, sexuality and ambition are not bad unless our
experiences of those drives are imbalanced or
codependent. If we are addicted to sex or driven by
ambition to the point of workaholics, these expressions
have become defects we must address. Our sixth step
prayers would not be "Make me asexual" or "Take away my
ambition." Rather, we might pray, "Grant me a healthy
expression of my sexuality" or "Channel ambition into
enhancing my private life as well as my work life."
As we hold known defects of
character up to God, we must avoid self-shaming and
self-condemnation. The goal here is spiritual release,
not spiritual self-punishment. For most of us, this
process is ongoing. We will not be healed and sent
forward immediately; rather, recovery will be a daily
effort to evaluate, balance, and adjust the healthy
expression of all of our God-given needs.
- Serenity, A Companion for Twelve
Step Recovery, p. 50-51
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