STEP 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addiction , an that our lives had become unmanageable.
How It Works
The fact is that most
alcoholics, for reasons yet
obscure, have lost the power of
choice in drink. Our so-called
willpower becomes practically
non-existent. We are unable, at
certain times, to bring into our
consciousness with sufficient
force the memory of the
suffering and humiliation of
even a week or a month ago. We
are without defense against the
first drink. -- A.A. Big Book, p. 24
(Substitute your own addiction
for drink if your addiction is
different than alcohol)
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Step 1- for
me was by far the hardest step
for me to make, it took me over
thirty years to finally get it
right, it wasn't tell I
completely surrendered and got
honest with myself
that I was able to complete the
12 steps.
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The principle that we will find no enduring strength until we first admit complete defeat is the main taproot from which our whole Society has sprung and flowered.
- -Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 22
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Why all this insistence that every A.A. must hit bottom first? The answer is that few people will sincerely try to practice the A.A. program unless they have hit bottom. For practicing A.A.'s remaining eleven steps means the adoption of attitudes and actions that almost no alcoholic who is still drinking can dream of taking. Who wishes to be rigorously honest and tolerant? Who wants to confess his faults to another and make restitution for harm done? Who cares anything about a Higher Power, let alone meditation and prayer? Who wants to sacrifice time and energy in trying to carry the A.A.'s message to the next sufferer? No, the average alcoholic, self-centered in the extreme, doesn't care for this prospect - unless he has to do these things in order to stay alive himself.
Under the lash of alcoholism, we are driven to A.A. and there we discover the fatal nature of our situation. Then, and only then, do we become open-minded to conviction and as willing to listen as the dying can be. We stand ready to do anything that will lift the merciless obsession from us.--Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 24
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But we don't have to go this far
down. We can see the patterns of powerlessness and go
for help. When we begin to realize how we act and feel
when no one is around, or in our car alone in traffic,
or in line in a store, or when we listen to a political
commentator, or in our most intimate relationships in
our homes or in our beds, we can look around in our
lives and see other signs of powerlessness and
unmanageability. In the end it is usually the pain of
our compulsions, addictions, and denial and the
resulting strained or broken relationships that drive us
to the stark awareness of our powerlessness.
Unfortunately it may take a tragedy or crisis to break
through our delusion of power - a divorce, a family
member's addiction, a runaway child, a terminal illness,
a bankruptcy, a death.
-- A Hunger for Healing, p. 25
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When we admit our powerlessness and the inability to
manage our own lives, we open the door to recovery. No
one could convince us that we were addicts. It is an
admission that we had to make for ourselves. When some
of us have doubts, we ask ourselves this question: "Can
I control my use of any form of mind or mood-altering
chemicals?"
Most will see that control is impossible the moment it
is suggested. Whatever the outcome, we find that we
cannot control our using for any length of time.
This would clearly suggest that an addict has no control
over drugs. Powerlessness means using against our will.
If we can't stop, how can we tell ourselves we are in
control? The inability to stop using, even with the
greatest willpower and the most sincere desire, is what
we mean when we say, "We have absolutely no choice".
- Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text, Chapter 4/Step 1
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Admitting powerlessness is absolutely essential to
breaking the addiction cycle, which is made up of five
points:
Pain ->
Reaching out to an addictive agent, such as work, food,
sex, alcohol, or dependent relationships to salve our
pain ->
Temporary anesthesia ->
Negative consequences ->
Shame and guilt, which result in more pain or low
self-esteem
For example, the workaholic who has low self-esteem
(pain) begins to overwork (addictive agent), which
results in praise, success, and achievement (relief).
However, as a rule, family relationships and his
personal relationship with God suffer terribly because
of preoccupation with work (negative consequences). The
result is an even greater sense of shame and guilt
because of inadequacies, both real and imagined, which
brings him back to point 1 in the addiction cycle. Now
the workaholic feels compelled to work even harder to
overcome his guilt.
Understanding the addiction cycle is important because
it helps explain why for both the Oxford Group and for
Bill Wilson, the admission of powerlessness is the first
step to recovery. Otherwise, we remain caught. If we
rely on willpower alone, then the only thing we know to
do is to escalate our addiction to get out of the pain.
Step 1 calls us to do less - to yield, to surrender, to
let go.
- Serenity, A Companion for Twelve Step Recovery, p.
22-23
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The central task of Step 1 is to recognize that our
lives are beyond our control, and we cannot continue our
superhuman efforts at patching up the many mistakes we
make. We recognize that it is time to move from a crisis
mode to a prevention mode.
Here are some familiar patterns:
Alcoholics or drug abusers find that no one will believe
their promises anymore.
Overeaters recognize that all diets have ultimately
failed and that they are now facing life-threatening
illness.
Co-dependents find they are too ill or exhausted to go
on doing everyone's work and that others have become
more and more resistant to the co-dependent's efforts to
control them.
Workaholics find deadlines passing by unmet, forget to
write down appointments, or fall ill with no
"contingency plan".
ACOAs become so overwhelmed by their standards and
commitments that they cannot get out of bed to act on
anything.
- The Twelve Step Journal, p. 39
Main
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